Tuesday, September 27, 2005


, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

in between...

, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Monday, September 26, 2005


connected..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Caspar walking...

Caspar walking..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

leaves & me...

leaves & me..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.


commingled..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Friday, September 16, 2005

fall fruit...

fall fruit..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

fall fruit...

fall fruit..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

fall fruit...

fall fruit..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

it's all good...

it's all good..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.


relationships, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Why do human beings find relationships so hard? Many of the difficulties we experience in life come directly from our relationships-not just with our mates, but with our parents, children, teachers, bosses, friends. In short, with virtually anyone from whom we want something. This is a key point; almost all of our relationship difficulties come from wanting something or someone to be different. Considering the amount of suffering that arises from relationships, it’s surprising that the Buddha didn’t include them in his list of the primary causes of suffering, along with sickness, old age, and death. One thing is certain: relationships, like serious illnesses, push us right to the edge of where we’re stuck. Stephen Levine has noted that relationship, though not the easiest method for finding peace, is certainly the most effective for discovering what blocks it.

The fact that relationships often bring the most painful and unhealed aspects of our life out of the shadows makes them a potentially powerful teacher. But let’s be honest, who actually wants such a teacher? What do we really want from relationships? We want what we want! We want someone to fulfill our needs, someone who will make us feel good, give us security, appreciation, affection, and love. We also want our relationships, at least in part, to mask our core pain: the anxious quiver of being that cries out for relief. But the more we rely on our relationships to either gratify our needs or assuage our pain, the more we solidify our suffering. Another person can never heal our core pain; we can only do that for ourselves. But that doesn’t keep us from asking others to do it. And when we don’t get what we want, the messiness of relationship begins.

As soon as a conflict arises and we feel threatened in some way, we tend to forget all about relationships as a vehicle of awakening. We tenaciously hold on to our views, judgments, and need to be right. We protect and defend our self-image. We close down or lash out. And, believing in all these reactions as the unquestioned truth, we perpetuate our suffering. As we continue to do this, the disappointment we cause ourselves and others becomes a pain we can’t ignore. That’s the beauty of relationships as spiritual practice. The pain motivates us to awaken; disappointment is often our best teacher. This is when practice can really begin. But this view of relationship is very different from what we have been taught.

We were taught that relationships are supposed to give us security or save us. We usually assume that they’re supposed to make us feel good through being supported, appreciated, loved, nurtured, or pleasured. We imagine that being in a relationship will relieve us of our loneliness.

That’s how we approach relationships. Based on these expectation, requirements, and desires, we want something. We need, or think we need, the other person to BE a certain way, or to make US feel a certain way-safe, happy, or whatever. “I care for you” often means “I need you.” We care for others as long as they satisfy our particular need, as long as they make us feel some special way. That’s the set up.

(to be continued)
from: At Home in the Muddy Water: A guide to finding peace within everyday chaos, by Ezra Bayda

Sunday, September 11, 2005

ghostly chai...

ghostly chai..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

tinge of fall...

tinge of fall..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Questions about angels...

Questions about angels..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.


Wow..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

ginger tea...

ginger tea..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

this is an audio post - click to play
this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

my blue past...

my blue past..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

This is one of a series of images that can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aikitherese/sets/901282/

I have had a bagful of old negatives...family snapshots dating back to the fifties...sitting around, gathering dust and generally deteriorating more than they already were. At first, I thought to take them to the darkroom and make a contact print collage. Then, I decided to be lazy...and experimental...and scan them straight up (not as negs) and play with them in ps.

The results, I'm happy to say, are much to my liking. A little weird to work on (especially while listening to evocative music)...because the whole idea of memories, how they fade and morph, kept coming to my mind. As it is, the finished images pretty much evoke the feeling I was experiencing while working on them.

"The Size of the World"

"The Size of the World", originally uploaded by aikitherese.

In 1994, writer/world traveler/doer-of-good-deeds Jeff Greenwald set off to celebrate his 40th birthday by circumnavigating the globe sans air travel. "The Size of the World" is the book that chronicles this journey. This was back when the internet was still just gaining devotees and Jeff was breaking new ground by making posts to salon.com (or was it hotwired.com??) on the road updating his progress...some of these are featured in the book...

I first heard Jeff on "Whadya Know" talking about this tome of his. I was hooked even before I read it!! After I read it, I was in love (no...not really...but he's definitely a cool dude!). I sent an email...then an adoring fan snail mail ( I think it was around six pages!!)...after which we developed a correspondence, the highlight being having had lunch with him at King Yen (his neighborhood Chinese food hang out...immortalized in TSOTW)...like I said, he's a cool dude.

ANYWAY...the reason I bring this up is because I just got an email noting the update of his website: www.jeffgreenwald.com. I urge anyone interested in good, funny, insightful writing (and interested in travel and science) to check it out!!

Monday, September 05, 2005

soul meets body...

soul meets body..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

I will follow you into the dark...

Sunday, September 04, 2005


aikido..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

morning rituals...

morning rituals..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

, originally uploaded by aikitherese.