Friday, September 29, 2006

Leaves...


I haven't been around here much these days, it seems. My mind and heart are a bit preoccupied. But I'll be back, after a brief time away, with lots of new images and perhaps new ways of seeing things.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Saturday...


dedication, originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Early morning

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Two dogs...


It's been an oddly busy week and my head is too fuzzy to write...so enjoy the pooches :)

Friday, September 15, 2006

Solano Stroll...




Where I work...


...today anyway...

Realizing that I felt like the rug of creativity had been pulled out from under me, I decided to just allow for it and tackle some spotting I needed to do on a few prints. I guess this kind of task is actually quite a blessing (for me) in that it offers something to do when I seem to be at a loss for inspiration. Also, it allows for the opportunity to take a closer look at what I've already created, sometimes coming full circle back into the stream of creativity (sometimes, it's just nice to know that I have made something worthwhile).

So I sit...and listen to music...and get into the meditative rhythm of cleaning up prints. It helps, in more ways than one.

Pear...


Searching for creative inspiration...I'm coming up empty.

Maybe it's time to clean the house...

Thursday, September 14, 2006

A new day dawns...


Yesterday was...a tough one. No one ever told me parenting could be so challening (or maybe I just wasn't listening). Between physical illness and discomfort with one, and deep, emotional distress with the other, I felt drained by the time for bed.

Perhaps the most significant thing that happens in these situations, is seeing myself so clearly. I witness both how psychicly intertwined I am with my daughter and how severely I end up judging myself for, well, many things. Difficult though these times may be, I take heart in the fact that everything is movement, everything is change, and nothing stays the same. Now, to remember this during emotional upheaval is the task I set before myself!

Today is better...so I need to appreciate THIS moment...

In the end (but is there really an end?) I'm very grateful for it all...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

For what ails him...


For what ails him..., originally uploaded by aikitherese.

Julian is home sick today...after much deliberation. He has a hard time missing school and he's got to be feeling really crummy to get him to skip it.

So...that means I ask myself, how to I rearrange MY day. Actually, at 14-1/2 all he really needs me to do is check in every once in a while to see if there's anything he needs to eat or drink. He's a good kid...both my offspring are and I'm grateful...so he'll find ways to keep himself entertained (when he isn't sleeping). All that being said, it's important I get into the darkroom today. It's nice to work at home (I'm finally beginning to call what I do my "work")...but it seems it also takes a fine balance of discipline and flexibility!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Hot chocolate...


It's chilly and gray and windy out this morning. So much so, that I'd be surprised if the sun shows itself at all today. Without that solar power, my energy just doesn't really hum. I putter here and there...but feel a little like my engine isn't quite turning over.

I haven't had hot chocolate for ages...and there was a bit of leftover whipped cream from pie the other night. A warm drink seemed like just the right thing for such a situation.

I began to think about the ebb and flow of my creativity and drive. On the one hand, discipline is necassry to work indepently, or else nothing will get done. It's very easy to get distracted with one thing or another...and the time just slips away. Still, there is something to be said for accepting the lulls and using that time for reflection, or mundane tasks that might be left undone otherwise. Pick up around the house, clean out the refrigerator, plan tonight's dinner, or something more esoteric like meditating or having a go swinging my wooden sword in the back yard (which it would behoove me to practice at least a few times a week). With those things out of the way, if the creative spark decides to ignite later on, all the better.

It's a learning process, this maturing thing. Life is so rich...

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Settling...


Seems like I talk about that a lot...but I guess it's just a nice feeling to experience...

For some years...up to and including my first several months on flickr, I was not in a very good space. I was seeking something...and not going about it in a very effective way. Still, it was what it was and sometimes those passages just have to be experienced in whatever way they come to us as individuals. The now, however, feels much better, more grounded, more real.

There are still difficulties, but I seem to be able to meet them with more maturity than I used to. Life will never be perfect...but what is perfection anyway and by whose definition?

I'm glad to be older and more myself. I'm glad for my gray hairs and glasses...and even my aches and pains which let me know I can still move and use my body. Perhaps most importantly, I'm terribly grateful for those very dear individuals without whose support and encouragement this journey would be a lot more challenging.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Busy...

Monday, September 04, 2006

Stuck...


...those thoughts...those feelings...I'm either unable...or unwilling...to give voice to. It makes my throat sore to hold them there.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Brownie Hawkeye Flash...



It was time...


It's a lot easier to read small print now!